I *heart* Marvin Club
Yep, yep. It’s definitely been a while since I last blogged. Been busy trying to commit academic suicide….I think I might be a scholastic masochist. On the record, I’m doing 18 creds this sem. Off the record, I’m doing 21…just cos i like the extra 3-cred course and couldn’t take it cos of the stupid mcm-231 prereq (yea i’m sure most people are experiencing a wooshing sensation over their head by now).
The more I get into everything, the less I know about what I really want. I feel despair, lonliness, isolation and a sense of walking on the treadmill: I’m walking all right, but I’m not going anywhere. I want to run far, far away from everything and all my problems but I can’t do that yet.
People I thought were my friends and that I could always trust turned out to be an utter disappointment and I feel pangs of betrayal, abandonment and a sense of mistrust. Maybe all of this is all in my head, but right now I feel very alone. I just realised that there are no recent photos of me with my best friends and maybe it’s partially my fault. Or maybe things have drifted so far away that we’re no longer the friends we used to be. Growing up and aging really sucks. Damn you Time!!! Please just fast-forward me to the last 24 hours of my life. I can’t stand it anymore. I’m tired. Very tired.
As if friends weren’t bad enough, men aren’t any better. I don’t know what I want anymore. The perfect man doesn’t exist. Not even the most compatible or decent compatible dude. It’s like the more I know people, the less I like them. Or the more likely I’m waiting for them to fuck me over. I’m lost. I’m confused. And manically depressed. I need some sheesha high soon. I love you Marvin…….(incase you’re wondering, read the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy and you’ll know what I’m talking about.
